Quietly, Silently
by Gabunny
Summary: Quietly, silently, unspoken and unwritten, from now until forever. HouseCam ficlet collection.
1. Quietly, Silently

_Hi all! Gabunny writing. This is my on-going collection of HouseCameron drabbles and ficlets, and I'll throw in a lengthy theme now and then too It's basically all going to be angst because Houron angst is the best. Rating is T for now, but may work its way up to M someday.  
Reviews are love, constructive crit, flames and compliments are all appreciated. Thank you for choosing my collection! And now, on with the drabbles.  
-Gabunny 3_

---

This is us.  
This is the story of us, of You and of Me.  
A chronicle of what is, and what could have.

This is pain.  
This is our pain, unrivalled and unquestioned.  
It broke us – and it could break everyone else, too.

This is regret.  
These _are_ regrets, the should have's, could have's, and would have's.  
These are the sorrows in which there was no alternative.  
Just acceptance, and in turn brokenness.  
Just how it was, and how it will always be.

This is an attempt.  
This is my attempt to fix it all, fix _you_.  
This is me, reaching out over our shattered dreams.  
Trying, because you're all I have left.

This is it.  
This is us, us in our broken glory.  
This is our journey, and this is where we collide.

Quietly, silently; unspoken and unwritten, from now until forever.  
This is who we are, and this is all we can hope to be.

---

_How was it? Please review, it would mean the world to me:3  
Another ficlet coming soon._


	2. Pebbles

Pebbles

He had pebbles on his balcony ledge, to throw at Wilson's office when he wanted his attention.

She picked one up and looked at it sadly. She could imagine him flicking these just to annoy the man, or to drag him away from a patient. Probably a patient he was half-way through telling they had six months left to live, she thought, too.

There were about twenty in all. All small, all round. All the right sort of thing to throw at a glass door. A primitive line of communication – but one technology she knew she would never have.

_Maybe if I got promoted. _But then she would have to leave her place with House. _And get an office with a balcony._

But what did it matter? No-one wanted her attention anyway. He certainly didn't.

She put the pebble back on the ledge and went back inside before everyone came back from lunch.


	3. Reflective

Reflective

It was reflective, and the moonlight danced upon the sorted mail she had just thrown upon his desk.

She bit her lip, knowing she should just go home and get a few hours sleep before work instead of standing gormlessly in his office. But it was 1am – no-one was around, and she would only be a minute. And it wasn't like he would ever know.

She picked the cane up off the shelf, interested that he had a spare one at work. _Doesn't seem like him._ On the other hand, she didn't know him, really. Nobody did.

It was colder than she'd imagined; the glossy finish shined in the moonlight, and she waved the cane around to see if it would throw the light around the room. It didn't.

_He twirls it._ She tried twisting her fingers to make the cane spin, but it fell to the ground, hitting the magic eight ball on the way. She winced as the wood hit the floor noisily and the ball rolled around the office haphazardly. _I shouldn't have done that._

She picked up the ball as it rolled past her feet and put it back on the shelf, and placed the cane beside it like she'd found it before quickly exiting the office.

She'd never know that the face on the shaken magic eight ball read, "_All signs point to yes_".


	4. Light

Light  


"Do you really think this is it?"

He considered continuing walking; a couple more strides and he'd be out the door, and she wasn't likely to chase him – but the late afternoon sunlight hit her hair wonderfully and she looked a little tired, like a kid that needs a story before they give way to sleep, and then he was answering and it was too late now.

"Yes" he said, no mocking personal remark or pop culture reference she wouldn't understand. "You stop when you die. The end."

She nodded, resting on her arms which were pushed against the doorway between the conference room and his office as she leant forward and considered his words. "You know," she started carefully, "that's almost romantic."

He sighed; _don't tell me we're back to the he-can-do-no-wrong outlook_. More Freudian philosophy was the last thing he needed before poker night. "Its standard atheist answer" he said lamely, trying to make her see that it was pathetic to read into it.

She smiled, an uncalled for expression of happiness spreading across her face. "No," she objected, "you think that everyone and everything stops at one point. You believe in release. And if that wasn't romantic enough, you also believe that man got this far with no intervention from a higher power whatsoever. You have a lot of faith in people," she said, eyes dancing as she delivered her analysis, "for an anti-social jerk."

_Your wrong._ "Because everything is just cherry, right?" he fired back, gearing up to end this quickly so she would stop looking so happy and he could get out of this hospital before six. "You're as damaged as they come." _On the other hand…pot, black, pot, black…_

"True" she agreed, entering the office to close the gap between them a little. "But everything is relative." She was too close, eyes still gleaming happily.

"And in any case," she said decidedly, "I think it's quite romantic of you to think I want to chat with you about the afterlife, instead of asking if you think this scan we did this afternoon shows the tumor we're looking for." She waved the scan in front of his face and threw it on the chair by the door, before leaving him to realize that he'd looked at her and connected her vague words to how much she looked like some kind of angel in the early evening light.

_---_

_Haha, House got played XD Sorry this isn't very angsty, but I do have some way more tension-y fics already drafted and ready to go! I just wanted to wait a little longer before posting them up. There's one about Cameron which kind of spells out how I'm writing about her, and I wanted to wait a little before putting it up. Sorry to keep you in the dark, but I really think its better that way. _

_Anyway. Sorry for the long wait between updates. Please review! And I'm open for suggestions for future ficlets, if there's anything in paticular you'd like to see._

_-Gabunny_


	5. Snapped

Snapped

There's a letter, short and typed and official; there's a hand on his arm, mocking him by how small and fragile it is, because she's snapping anything that held them together; there's words coming out of his mouth at random, trying to stop her. Why?

He doesn't know. He doesn't want her to go but he doesn't know why. And if he doesn't know why then he can't be right. He can't even be wrong. He can't keep her here, he can't stop her from leaving to go to wherever she's going, and he shouldn't care anyway but he does. And he doesn't know why. It's not often Greg House feels confused, but he definitely can't understand how Cameron suddenly turned into an infinite algorithm.

Then her last words to him are meaningless. She says something that was probably meant to make him feel better, because even though he's throwing caustic words at her she will respond with some niceness to make for good memories. Her niceness is worth nothing though, because her heart is shattered and shadowed and she's not being nice because she means it. He wants meaning, not her niceness, but she's on autopilot, her mind already so, so far away from here. He can't believe she cares that less about him.

She leaves the room, leaves the hospital, leaves the state, she probably even leaves the country, and she leaves him. And he doesn't remember what she said because she won't either.


	6. Necessities

Necessities

She was lying on the floor of his office, legs kicked up against the wall that separated it from the conference room.

_What the hell?_ He cut his route to the cafeteria short and strode into his office, admittedly having no idea what he was going to say. She twisted her head to see who it was, but once she saw him she turned back, not offering any explanation or apology that would have been typical of her.

'Children aren't allowed inside the classroom at lunchtime,' he told her, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 'You have to go outside and eat lunch with the other kids.'

She didn't look at him, rather continued to stare at the ceiling. 'I don't like food,' she said, and she raised her arms to stretch them. 'And you don't like the other kids.' She dropped her arms and turned to look at him again, but the office door swung and he was already gone.

---

_But where did he go? That is a story for another ficlet. No, this collection most certainly isn't dead! Look forward to a few more updates within the next few days. I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday season._

_-Gabrielle  
_


	7. Interact

Interact

In earlier days, it was much easier to interact with Cameron. Maybe because he didn't know her then. He just acted like he always did and didn't worry about her response.

And yet, House certainly didn't think about Foreman's reactions to whatever he did, and definitely not Chase. Something about her was different - or maybe, something about her was the same.


	8. Game

Game

What would happen if I left? Allison Cameron found herself wondering one day. Resigned, quit. Hightailed it out of Princeton-Plainsboro. She had already tried it once but she hadn't properly left, hadn't_ run away_.

What would happen if she tried? How far would he go to find her again, confront her or drag her back (or, at the very least, track her down in order to have the last word before they parted ways for good)?

She thought about it for a while, then smiled and sighed, shaking her head. She had been in this game for too long to try and pull out now. Quitting wouldn't be fair.


	9. Desperate

Desperate

I'm desperate, and he knows it. I hope he doesn't know exactly _how_ desperate I am for this opportunity. His team, they'd sail through the hospital with importance and glamour – but his team are gone now. No more watching them hopelessly from the clinic with overwhelming envy. No more peeking glimpses at that beautiful Australian doctor, or avoiding the judgemental glare of the doctor House hired to break into apartments. No more conversations with the pretty, _pretty_ Allyson Cameron when she got stuck covering all their clinic hours. The insane jealousy, as Cameron spoke with polite boredom and I would think back to how, in med school, I was sure of being a privileged, clever, kind doctor, and never dreamed of being shunted sideways, has ended.

No more. For three years I've watched and waited, but no more. Now is the time. The silence stretches out and I try to keep my lip from trembling – this was House, after all. Any sign of weakness and I can kiss my slim chance of being hired goodbye.

He smiles. I can't believe it. He never smiles. He hasn't known me two minutes.

And then he says, "You remind me of someone."

It's not me he's smiling at.

_Sorry for the hiatus! I know Cameron's character has left the show, but I'll still be watching the old seasons and updating this collection. I hope there's still some HouseCam fans out there! This is from the point of view of that poor nervous woman in the clinic in 4x01, sorry if it was unclear._

_-Gabbi_


	10. Kept

Kept

Chase became a bigger and bigger part of her life, seemingly for no other reason than he tried. House found himself on a bell curve of amusement and irritation when considering their blossoming relationship, tempered more and more with indifference. By the time they married, he was worlds away, and he doubted very much she would even have spared a thought for him on her wedding day.

Cameron was not so simple as to be held by Chase though. He wasn't the only one to know it, surely, but he was the only one who could freely admit it to themselves. When she had doubts, when she couldn't let go of her past, when she was unable to make herself into the undamaged person Chase thought she could heal to be, nobody was surprised, but House knew it all along: Allison Cameron couldn't be kept, certainly not by some handsome nice guy who compared who she was to how regular people could be, not by anyone.


End file.
